About ninety minutes into WB’s new Minecraft Movie, I realized I was fighting to stay awake. The film was unfolding in front of me—Jack Black and others bouncing around in blocky CG worlds—yet the second it entered my eyes, it slipped right back out of my brain. I had to actively force myself to register what was happening. Luckily, not much actually happens in this staggeringly dull movie.
A Lazy Adaptation
Minecraft Movie bills itself as a (sort of) live-action adaptation of Mojang’s phenomenon. But how do you turn a game with no real story or characters into a feature-length film? Apparently, by lazily making Minecraft “another world” that humans fall into and eventually escape from. If that sounds familiar, it’s because it’s the hallmark of every bad video game movie ever made—yes, we’re back in Super Mario Bros. (1993) territory.
To be fair, the opening shows promise. The first 20 minutes deliver some genuinely funny jokes, introducing awkward teen Henry and his older sister Natalie, who has taken on a maternal role after their mom’s death. Their journey lands them in small-town Idaho—thanks for the dying-wish guilt trip, mom!—where they meet Jason Momoa as a washed-up gaming pro turned game store owner, and Danielle Brooks as Dawn, who barely registers throughout the film. Add Jennifer Coolidge as the horny, scene-stealing Marlene, and for a moment it seems like the film might work. Then the characters are zapped into Minecraft, and the movie collapses the moment Jack Black’s Steve arrives.
Jack Black at His Worst
Can one actor save a bad movie? Sometimes. Can one actor ruin it? Absolutely. That’s Jack Black here. Steve, the game’s default skin, is a blank slate, leaving Black and the filmmakers to invent his personality. Their choice? Make Steve one of the most insufferable characters to ever hit the screen.
Jack Black operates at full volume for the entire runtime—screaming, singing, mugging, slang-slinging, often doing all of the above at once. What starts as manic energy quickly turns into exhausting noise. Within 20 minutes, even the kids in my theater stopped laughing. His performance feels less like acting and more like a parody stitched together from a YouTube compilation of his “craziest moments.” It’s irritating, unfunny, and makes it impossible to connect with Steve or his supposed character arc.
The lowest point comes when Black rallies his allies with the line: “We need to mine. We need to craft. We need to Minecraft.” I nearly walked out right there.
A Story You’ve Seen Before
Beyond Black’s performance, the plot is painfully generic. A villain with zero depth threatens the Minecraft world. To stop them, the heroes must chase down a shiny MacGuffin. Cue an endless loop of running, fighting, and bland banter through environments that look like Minecraft run through a “realistic but ugly” texture mod. Nothing sticks long enough to matter.
Technically, the CG is polished. The blending of live-action characters into Minecraft’s digital world is seamless, and vice versa. Unfortunately, the actual designs are unpleasant to look at, and the constant recycling of in-game sound effects feels like a desperate attempt to remind viewers: “Hey, this is still Minecraft!”
The One Bright Spot
The only truly enjoyable part is a subplot involving Coolidge’s vice principal, who falls in love with a Minecraft villager transported to the real world. Every cutaway to their oddball romance felt like a reprieve from the rest of the film. Honestly, I would rather have watched an entire rom-com about them.
Final Verdict
Yes, this is “a movie for kids,” but that’s no excuse. Great kids’ films exist—The Lego Batman Movie proves you can make something hilarious, heartfelt, and smart without dumbing it down. A Minecraft Movie instead settles for being loud, shallow, and annoying, anchored by what might be Jack Black’s worst performance ever.
Will some kids enjoy it? Probably. Should adults waste two hours of their lives on it? Absolutely not. Do yourself a favor: rewatch School of Rock and then play a few rounds of Minecraft with friends. It’s time far better spent than enduring this cinematic misfire.
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